Blogtember: Ugh. Spiders.

Friday, September 6: A story about a time you were very afraid. Ugh. This is easy. Please note that I refuse to put photos in this post because SPIDERS ARE THE WORST.

I despise, and am terrified of, spiders. It doesn't matter if they are pencil eraser-sized. It doesn't matter if they are supposedly "harmless." Why do people always use that adjective with daddy long leg spiders, by the way? Ew. I don't worry about whether or not a spider might specifically target me for attack; I stress about the fact that spiders have one million legs and move fast and are creepy as hell.

My junior year of college, I discovered a bump on my forearm one day. It was a little swollen and sore the next day. Two days after that, I couldn't even type at my secretarial job because my arm was black and blue and aching. I went to the doctor and she informed me that it was probably a brown recluse spider bite, so "good thing I came in, because those can destroy limbs." YEAH. SWEET. (Update: my arm is fine.)

It all started when I was about five. My father let me watch Arachnophobia, without my mother's permission. (I literally just Googled the movie to check the spelling of the title, and immediately had to to close the browser because it ALREADY terrifies me, the memory and potential Google images alone.) Apparently I didn't seem too scared while watching the movie, so good ole Dad didn't think much harm had been done and put me to sleep at my usual bedtime.

In the middle of the night, my parents hear me screaming. They rush into my room, and find their sweet daughter jumping up and down on the bed, smacking her body and screaming Get them off me! Get them off me! They quickly woke me up, reassured me that no, spiders were not in fact crawling all over my body, and eventually convinced me to fall back asleep.

So yeah, I'm not exaggerating when I say that spiders terrify me. Even thinking about them makes my skin crawl. I know they are a good insect for the environment and all, but I will continue to live in my little pretend world where spiders stay in hidden dark places far, far away from me.