friendship and messy hair {5/100}

My friend K visited this past weekend from Minneapolis. We used to live in the same apartment building, taught yoga at the same studio, and become close friends fast. She was the first person in Des Moines who knew I was pregnant when it happened (I told her in the parking lot after a hot class; her response was "are you SERIOUS, whoa, how are you" in true fashion). I stood up in her lovely summer wedding. Last time I saw her was a year ago, when we traveled to MN with a six-month-babe who couldn't roll over and still needed to be breastfed every hour. 

Life is different now, but so much is still the same. We're both going through the journey to home ownership. We've both been rocked by our privilege in light of the election results, and consequently our conversations take shape over politics and social action a little more than they used to. But a single chat can arc all the way from the virtues of sriracha mayo on egg sandwiches to the best way to grill zucchini to how to join a new church to Phoebe Robinson's wit. 

We always forget to take photos when together, though, probably because the present moment is more enjoyable than reaching for a smartphone. But on this visit we said, let's take a cute posed photo! Let's not forget! So we tried like five times, and then it got weird and awkward, and eventually it turned out the mid-mule drank face with messy hair and cozy clothes felt more real than anything else.

Isn't that how true friendship goes, though?

{2017} february intentions

February is obviously a short month, so I tried to pick intentions that were a little bit harder or more challenging . . . since there are fewer days involved. Ha!

HONESTY: Stop making an effort with friendships that have become a one-way street.

As part of writing this article for The Everygirl, I realized that I was kind of prioritizing a couple friendships wherein the other party probably wouldn't return the favor. And that felt shitty. But it felt shittier to make an effort and get zero response, so I decided to slowly just . . . stop. Stop sending cards. Stop calling. Stop pretending like we were going to make plans when we both knew we wouldn't. As a result, I already feel a bit of a lift, because cooling off certain friendships provides more space for me to devote time and energy to loved ones who make their commitment to the health of our friendship known. 

PASSION: Go on two date nights.

Straightforward, but gosh, these are difficult to prioritize! We love socializing and being with our baby, so often we choose those options versus going out just ourselves. And because it is winter in the Midwest, the only date night options this month often mean dinner or drinks out. Which can get a little boring. Still, I'd like to go on two dates this month because I know it makes ALL the difference in our relationship.

GROWTH: Write 500 words a day for my novel.

TOO HARD ALREADY OMG. Yeah, it's February 5th and I haven't done a damn thing. But last year, I managed to write almost 50k words as part of my dream to publish a novel someday, so I'm not starting from scratch. And from that experience, I learned writing everyday is less about the content and more about the habit. Considering a book proposal is on my list to complete by end of year, I need to get cracking so that I can then prioritize editorial time. 

HUMOR: Play with Ezra every day.

This one is leftover from last month, but still stands. I want to make time each day to make him laugh, smile and giggle. Fun matters, especially when the world often feels so very dark. Semi-related, I'm trying to watch more funny movies, look at hilarious memes and enjoy comedy as a whole while remaining an informed, politically active citizen. In my opinion, it's part of self-care that allows one to fight on for what's right over the course of the next few years (and always, but you know what I mean). 

SOLITUDE: Meditate for one minute every day.

I need to download an app or something, but yeah. I want to do this. It kind of stemmed out of the whole "don't look at my phone upon waking up or right before bed," as I really want to find a moment to clear my head on a daily basis. Count my blessings, Take deep breaths. All that jazz. I don't currently meditate, so starting with one minute seemed achievable instead of like, five or ten or fifteen. Even if I literally just close my eyes and try to think about nothing for 60 seconds every day, that's cool by me.