friendship makes the world go round {16/100}

I invited a bunch of women over, some mamas and some not, out of the blue the other week. It wasn't fancy; I bought some cheese and crackers and random snacks from Trader Joe's plus all the wine and called it good. I invited whoever I wanted to catch up with, even if we hadn't spoken in a year. I didn't send out a formal invitation, or create a theme, or even clean my house.

And it was beautiful.

Friends I hadn't seen in forever stopped by. Brand new acquaintances showed up with rosé in hand. Some brought tiny babies who cooed in their carriers or toddlers who ran around at full speed. Others I knew would be there, no matter what, and a couple bailed last minute due to, well, life, which is perfectly fine.

In my opinion, there's too much insistence on planning and prepping as pre-work to relationships. Just show up and create space for people to show up, too. Connecting isn't complicated, but it's crucial to survival. Being with these women reminded me of all the ways I want to grow, all the places I've been and what's still possible. Being near them made me laugh, think, wonder, admire. They're each amazing, unique individuals full of fiery passion and dedicated intellect and curious ambition.

And they also helped me clean up when Ezra puked everywhere SO THERE'S THAT.

But in all seriousness, I'm so thankful for these friendships, new and old, and for last minute weeknight shindigs. 

how to simplify rejection: let it hurt then let it go {15/100}

It's easy to get hung up on rejection. Even today, something that happened several weeks ago popped into my brain and stung my heart. It was an opportunity I really wanted, and one I almost got, and then there was a change of plans, and that changed my chance. And then I saw something about it on Facebook and in a second, my whole body said OW and WHY NOT ME and WTF.

In the past, I would've dwelled on that shit like hell. I would let resentment and jealousy and fear burn me up, spitting fire at every other thought and shredding my ability to be kind, loving, patient, creative or honest. I would get small, on purpose, because I felt smaller than I wanted to be. I would not want to come out of my hiding place of self-pity and poor me.

Now? I let it hurt. And then I let it go.

I remind myself that there will be more opportunities. I try to remember the feeling of abundance, and trust in the fact that while I may have gotten rejected, while I may feel sadness or confusion, I don't turn away from myself anymore. I find a place of contentment, of santosha, instead. Is it easy? Uh, no. No no no no no.

But I try.

For all of us, it takes something to shift our mindset from a place of pain to acceptance. For me, it was becoming a mom, and understanding that life can be simple and sweet like bubbles on a back porch with a little boy whose eyes light up in wonder. If you're feeling weary with rejection these days, stop tying yourself to every judgment, outcome, event and metric.

Practice contentment. You are more than those things, more than what happens to you. And more is yet to come.