Blogtember: Dear Facebook Friends

Friday, September 27: An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you'd like (but don't include people's real names). Dear Facebook Friends,

FB Friends

First, know that if you're in my Facebook community, that means we are actually friends and would say hello to one another in real life. That's pretty much my basic criteria after I realized how many "friends" I had acquired via college days of friending anyone and everyone.

I like Facebook, for the most part. I like sharing photo albums. I like being able to get a condensed update on someone's life once in a while. I like reading about successes and happy days and new beginnings and celebrated milestones (so I guess all the rose-colored items shared via social media that contribute to potential narcissism and FOMO). And I like the convenience of getting in touch and participating in mini group chats and conversations. Facebook easily helps me strengthen ties with new friends and stay relatively connected to loved ones who live far away.

But there are a few core things I don't like, things that make me feel a little icky and annoyed, such as:

changing your profile picture every day -- Who has time for this? That's what I want to know. I equate this action to the 18-year-old mindset of omg, new profile pic!!!! every time you use your camera. Take a breather. Nobody needs a new selfie on the regular.

the elusively negative status update -- Any version of "I guess it just wasn't meant to be" or "What a joke" or "Some people aren't worth it" or "The worst day. . ." Just. Stop. Go find a real, physical journal to write in or a real, physical friend to talk to. What amazes me is that there is ALWAYS a response to these vague updates, like, "Are you ok?!?!" And then the person will respond with, "I will be" or "I hope so" or something equally frustrating. People, not only is Facebook an awkward place to talk about personal stuff, this kind of exchange is not even a conversation.

political rants minus any sort of article link -- You want to share thoughts on something you read? Go for it; I don't mind, even if I don't agree. But the "THANKS OBAMA, THIS COUNTRY IS GOING TO SHIT" rhetoric will immediately get you blocked or defriended. Unfortunately, I really do see those sorts of posts from Republican/conservative friends much more than Liberal/democratic friends. If you want to share your educated opinion, proceed by all means, but that requires thoughtfulness and sources.

one million baby/wedding/honeymoon pictures and/or accompanying statuses -- Yes, I see that your baby is cute, and your husband is just the best ever for making you pancakes in bed, and you are finally Mr./Mrs. So-and-So and you went to an island for a week. Awesome! I don't need to read about it every day. Stop telling the Facebook world all those things, and just go enjoy your life . . . like, BE on your honeymoon instead of posting pictures, you know?

With love,